Year in review

This has been quite a year. God never ceases to amaze me as He is so gracious to our family. Compared to years past, this was a quiet year. We were blessed with a peaceful year as we continued o adjust to life here in Arkansas. Someone told me the other day that I looked different. They asked if I was pregnant, there was apparently some sort of glow. But I'm not and I know what it was they were seeing. It was happiness. It was love of life. I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been.

Here are some of the highlights from the past year:

1. Forgiveness

Early in 2008 I was able to finally release all the guilt I had been holding in. I carried it around for seven years and I finally let it go. It is so freeing to not be ashamed. Praise the Lord for the people He put in my path to get me to this point!

2. Crazy Arkansas weather

We had a nice amount of snow that fell on March 1. It made the girls laugh so hard that our one and only snowfall was in March. We had a snowball fight, made a snowman, and laughed, laughed, laughed. We also spent many nights watching tornadoes. There were tornadoes all around our town this year, but we were always sparred. 

3. Friends

We have been so blessed. God has brought some amazing people into our lives. We aren't just acquaintances anymore, but we have formed lifelong friendships with some dear people. We laughed, hosted parties in our homes, and made wonderful memories. We also mourned over miscarriages and grieved with dear friends who lost a baby at birth while her twin sister held on to life in the NICU. Through it all, God brought us all closer together.

4. Horse camp

I never imagined I would be the mother of horse lovers, but I am. The girls went to a week long horse camp and loved every minute of it. They learned to ride Western and English, shoveled poop, cleaned stalls, and loved on all the horses. They would live there if I let them.

5. Summer in Oklahoma for the girls 

They learned to ride their bike on Grandpa's three acres. What an accomplishment! Now they're riding fools! They helped Dad take care of Grandma Arnold and Mom take care of Grandma Faye. Such sweet memories they will have. Fishing with Grandpa and of course swimming every day. If only Grammy would let them get her hair wet!

6. School

This was the first year the girls were able to return to the same school that they left in August. And what a blessing that was! It definitely made the first day of school much easier. 

7. New rides

We were able to get a new van this year - a dream of mine had finally been fulfilled! We said good-bye to our sweet Blackie - the vehicle the girls grew up in. I cried as we took our final ride in him. I looked at my seven year old girls and saw them in their car seats all those years ago. The milk stains on the fabric say it all.

8. Mexico

Brandon took his first plane ride and it was an international flight. He enjoyed his time and savored every bite of food. He fell in love with the mountains and brought us back some amazing goodies. (Mexican cheese!)

As this year comes to a close, I'm excited to see what 2009 holds. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  ~Ephesians 3:20-21

Still here...

I have been a very unfaithful blogger. And I am sorry.

I went through this phase where I felt I had nothing to write about. I should've just sucked it up and wrote about our daily lives. Things were kind of hectic, I suppose. We had Thanksgiving, school Christmas program, church cantata (which required an insane amout of practice through the week & two performances on the weekend), Brandon was gone to Mexico last week, and the girls missed two days of school because of ice. And now, I can't even believe I'm writing this, but it's only one week until Christmas. I just finished wrapping the girls' presents - except for their bikes which are hidden in the attic.

Oh, and let me tell you something else. Something so tragic I'm unsure what to do...

Our computer crashed!

Long story, but it crashed. We were able to get it back on and thankfully all our pictures are safe and sound. But everything else uninstalled and it's a nightmare. Bran's home for his Christmas vacation so I'm using his work laptop because no matter what we do, the internet will not work.

All of this to say, I'm alive and I still want to be a blogger. I'll be back after the first of the year. The girls get out of school tomorrow and then we'll be heading to Oklahoma on Monday. This weekend is all about our Christmas here as a family of four. Sugar cookies to bake and memories to make!

Merry Christmas, everyone! And I'll talk to you all next year!

Football Fanatics

Wow! This was one of the best weekends in a long time! I'm telling you guys, it was fabulous! All football, all weekend. So fun!

Friday nights in our house are simply referred to as "Fantastic Friday Family Fun Night". It's a given we will be together and enjoying each other's company. Sometimes it's a movie. Sometimes it's a Wii night. But this past Friday was football and it was all for ME!

You see, I will confess. I am a football freak. I love it. High school football and college football make September through December oh so enjoyable. Friday night our high school team was in the state playoffs. I had heard from an Athletic director friend in Oklahoma that our opponent was, as he put it, "the best high school football team" he had ever seen. Well, if that doesn't tempt me to go, I don't know what would!

Here's the only problem. It was freezing. It wasn't just cold, it was FREEZING!! I was struggling all day. I wanted to go, but I needed to be rational and think about my girls. I flip-flopped all day long. Go or stay. Go or stay. And then, when I went to pick up the girls from school, I got my answer. The football stadium's big screen was on and there was no turning back. So we all bundled up and went and cheered on the Panthers!

I know this picture is blurry, but I was shivering. It was 28 degrees!!

Oh, and we lost after leading the ENTIRE game. Ugh! So not fun. I won't bore you the details because all that matters is that we lost.

And then came Saturday....

Our good friends and neighbors are Texas Tech fans. They both attended Tech and when I found that out I knew we had to have an OU/Tech party on game night. We planned this MONTHS ago, before we knew how good Tech was going to be this year. I had been a nervous wreck for weeks in anticipation of this game. I love to watch my Sooners at home and in the privacy of my family because I tend to be one of those crazies that yells at the tv. But now I was having guests and it was supposed to be a close game. As it turned out, OU romped Tech and I had nothing to worry about. Poor them.

VS.

The best part of the night? Well, other than the amazing score for OU?

The sugar cookies!

Oh, and I will go ahead and admit it. I was a little obnoxious with the OU tablecloth and I forced them to drink from OU glasses. : )

Boomer Sooner!

BK

I wasn't going to mention this today, because I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. But after the night I had trying to sleep last night and the emotional drive I just had, I know I need to put my thoughts into words. Hopefully by the end of this I will feel better.

Today would have been my sister's 36th birthday.

What a sweet soul she was.

Oh dear, here it comes again. Anger.

I haven't been mad about her death in a very long time. I'm usually content with the fact that she's not in any more pain. I usually rest knowing her broken body is whole again. But today I am mad. I want her here. I want to talk to her and I want to hear her funny one-liners and I want her to see the life I have now. I want my sister.

I couldn't sleep worth anything last night. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I woke up at midnight with a massive migraine. I never wake up in the middle of the night with a migraine. I usually go to sleep to get rid of one. I dreamt Brenna came to see us here in our new home town. She was happy, but sick. And then the rest of the night I was at her funeral. Isn't that awful? By four I finally gave in and found some medicine and a cold rag for my head.

Ok, I've got that all out of my system. I'm not going to dwell on this anymore. Being mad that she's gone will not bring her back. And she wouldn't want me to sit and sulk. Instead I choose to celebrate the 30 years that she lived. I choose to remember the last four years we had together. I'm going to remember the good times and I'm going to laugh. She always made me laugh. I'm going to communicate with my brother because I know today is hard for him too. I'm going to talk to my girls about their Aunt B. And I might even make her favorite cake - a cinnamon streusel bundt cake.

Forever Home

Brandon is leaving the country in a few weeks. I am super nervous and if I think about it too much I begin to sweat profusely and have an anxiety attack, so let's not dwell on it.

Moving on....

In order for him to leave on a jet plane (and I do know when he will be back again) he needed a Passport. Get this. Bran has never flown before. Yes, he's an engineer for an aviation company and he walks in private jets daily and he makes work instructions for people to build the jets, but he has never flown. Unreal, really. Anyway, he's going to fly and he needed a Passport. So I began searching for his birth certificate. I go to our semi-organized filing system of important papers and began digging. Tax papers from years ago, mixed in with the receipt from the deposit to our apartment (our first home together), along with shot records for the girls, and something else I had filed away. Something that makes me smile every time I look at it.

Six years ago I printed off a house plan in the NSU library. I probably should have been in class, but I wasn't. I was looking up house plans and dreaming of our forever home. And last week I found it. I looked at the bottom of the paper and it was printed out November 14, 2002. Cool, huh?

And with that I had to walk down memory lane. Six years ago we lived in a tiny apartment with our one year old babies. Bran drove ten minutes to work and I had just started back to school that August. My sister was still alive and fighting with everything she had to beat her cancer. I lived 15 minutes away from my parents and thought that was too far. Ha!

I remember the day I brought the house plan home to Bran. He loved it too. For some reason I filed it away and every now and then I find it. We still love the layout of the house. It's a very modest home, but seemed like a mansion compared to the apartment we were living in.

I'm always thinking of our forever home. I long for the day when we have an established home for our girls to come home to and eventually bring their families to for the holidays. However, Bran and I have completely different ideas of a forever home.

I want a house on some land. I don't need a lot, but at least three acres. Maybe because that's what my parents live on right now. Three acres, and oh how the girls love to run on those acres. I need a few trees and I have to have a porch with a porch swing so I can watch thunderstorms. Bran, on the other hand, loves the idea of my dream, but he's thinking more along the lines of a huge condo. For you Okies out there, you know the new condos they built at Utica Square? Yeah, that's his dream forever home. And acreage? Ha! He said he would like a square of grass he could cut with some scissors. Oh dear. We have some compromising to make.

For now I will keep dreaming. I will keep trusting God and follow where He leads us. He has always provided our every need - from our tiny apartment, to the house in Oklahoma, and our home here in Arkansas. And eventually, I'm sure we will have our forever home. And who knows? God might be smiling right now because both of our dream homes are far from what He has in store for us.

Oh, and I'm also going to trust that He will protect Bran while he's out of the country. : )

Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

I have always been a sucker for a good quiz. Love, love, love them. I think they're fun and silly and a good way to pass one's time. So when I saw "Which Thanksgiving Side Dish Are You" on Martha Stewart's website, I couldn't click on it fast enough. It was a rather fun quiz and I'm not at all surprised by my results.

I am mashed potatoes and gravy. According to Martha, I "find comfort in familiarity and like things that go together". Oh, Martha, you know me so well. (We'll ignore the fact that I don't eat gravy on my mashed potatoes, that's beside the point.)

New things kind of freak me out. They're so new. Uncharted territory. Scary. Give me a standard, predictable routine and count me in. I don't have to think and most of all I don't have to worry!

Here's a rather lame example. When we eat out I will not venture from my tried and true favorites. Don't ask me to even consider it, because it won't happen. Give me the Juanito Burrito from Juanita's, the Chicken Carbonarra from Bosco's, and a number six, hold the tomato from Wendy's. It's guaranteed I will not waver. These meals are familiar and they're tasty.

Or how about this? Driving from Arkansas to Oklahoma. From where we live it's a four hour drive. I have it memorized and could probably drive it with my eyes closed. I can name each town along the interstate, along with their coinciding exit numbers. When we reach Alma, exit 13 mind you, there is a choice to make. Take I-540 or continue on I-40. Well, I choose I-540 every time. You make me keep driving the boring strip of I-40 and I will scream. Not only is it a straight shot, but it's something we just don't do. It isn't familiar.

What is Target without a popcorn combo? What is a Monday night without Jon & Kate? What is a Saturday morning without College Gameday? What is bedtime without the usual talk and snuggle with the husband? Take one away from the other and it's chaos. I promise. Stick with familiarity, people.

So, what side dish are you? Mashed Potatoes and Gravy? Green Bean Casserole? Savory Sweet Potato Souffles? Roasted Root Vegetables?

Go take the quiz and let me know what you are! And after that, go to my friend Whitney's for a fun giveaway!

Hodge Podge...

I'm feeling very scatterbrained today. This is the first day I've been able to chill and relax. Wednesday mornings are always a rush because I have to get myself and the girls ready before school because I have Bible study. (I can't imagine doing that every single day! I thank the Lord for sunglasses to hide my eyes in the mornings!) Anyway, I've decided to take the afternoon and chill. A lot has happened since last week and I feel like sharing.

Everything with my grandma's funeral went so perfect. I was worried for the girls because this is the first death of someone they've been close too. But they are still young (7 years old). Bran and I discussed everything with them and prepared them for what was to come. So funny, that Bay is. I was explaining that Grandma would be in a casket and reminding her that her body would be there, but her soul was with God. She didn't have any problems with that part, it was the casket she was trying to wrap her head around.

"Is the casket like what they put mummies in," she asked. Yes, Bay. I think she's seen entirely too many Scooby-Do movies.

I digress. They decided to go to the funeral home and skip out on the funeral. They handled everything better than I could have imagined. Every now and then they will mention something and I will provide and answer and then they're fine. I think this is such a good age for them to experience death. They are old enough to understand, but still childish enough to not become overwhelmed.

Since Grandma died two days before Halloween, the mom in me was worried about trick or treating. I didn't know where to go. I never trick or treated in my hometown, I always went to the next town with my friends. After the funeral home we went to mom and dad's and then dressed the girls up in their costumes. Cay was a 50's girl and Bay was a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Loved their costumes! I went to houses that I knew and people that loved my girls, it was a wonderful evening!

As if the weekend wasn't busy and crazy enough, Cay and I came down with a stomach bug. Gross and disgusting, but we have moved on. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

And then there was yesterday. Election Day. What a privilege! Here in Arkansas we can vote early. Early voting started in mid October. Did I take advantage of that? Of course not. I wanted the girls to experience this vote. I wanted them to go with Bran and I and see how awesome it is to be an American. This is their first Presidential Election that they can remember and I wanted to create memories for them. Well, I don't know what all they will remember, but I'm sure they won't forget this....

We waited in line for two and a half hours. Yes, you read that right. From 5:44 p.m. until 8:19 p.m. we were in line. It was unbelievable. I never would have believed it. While I was in line, and before voting had closed, I got a text message from a friend saying they had already projected Arkansas to go to McCain! But that didn't stop me. I had my American duties to perform. And I wanted to leave proudly with this....